Just a while ago I was standing in the middle of a circle of
wonderful people, and they were all laying hands on me. Praying. Prophesying. The
anointing was passed on through the laying on of hands, and I could feel the
power flow into my hands – once again. Now I’m sitting here in my hotel room, and
I just keep looking at all these things around me: the new clothes I was
blessed with, the piles of books, CD:s and DVD:s with powerful teachings all
based on the living Word of God. What can say? Surely my God is able to do
exceedingly, abundantly ABOVE all I could ever have asked or imagined! (Eph
3:20)
Those of you who
have been following my journey already know that I’m very soon stepping into
something new. I have not written quite what it is, and it will remain a secret
for almost another two weeks. I’ll be “home” in Finland on April 30th,
which is in just ten days, and I would rather keep my plans a secret until I’m
home and can speak with people face to face – because I know some people will
have questions. Those who are truly in the Lord will be able to rejoice with me,
but other people will not be able to hear the voice behind the voice, which is
why I find it better to keep some things secret for another ten days…
These last few
weeks have been absolutely amazing. On my way home I stopped over on Cook
Islands, and stayed on a YWAM-base for a week. It was a great blessing to see
what God is doing there, and also be a part of all that. Coming from there to
Healing Springs Church in North Carolina was a shock – in a positive way! I
have NEVER before been received with such great love. Through these faithful
servants God has been fulfilling promises He gave me years and years ago, and I
have just been standing there, amazed by His goodness and His love.
When I stood there
tonight, surrounded by such wonderful people speaking great things into my
life, I was reminded by where I have come from. Suddenly I remembered how I
stood on those railway tracks, waiting for a train, ready to give up my life. I
felt I had lost everything. I had lost all hope and joy, and I had no reason left
for living. For a long time I had not been living but barely surviving, and I
thought it was about time to put an end to this suffering. But God had something
else planned…
I had come to a
point in life where nothing mattered – and that’s why I can say that Christ is
my ALL. I’ve been down in the deepest pit of depression, suffering under
demonic oppression and suicidal thoughts – and that’s why I know what freedom
in Christ really is. Because I once had lost all joy I now know what true joy
is – it’s something beyond happiness and smiling. It’s something only God
Himself in His great goodness can give. After experiencing rejection and
coldness I know the importance and greatness of the love of our Father.
A religious person
may say that God made me go through those tough times to mold me. But you know
what? He didn’t. God did NOT bring depression into my life. God did NOT make me
suicidal. God did NOT take away my joy just so that I would appreciate it more.
NO. That is not who God is. What happened was a result of my past, and a
totally wrong image of who God really is. Yet God was able to turn that
horrible situation into something great.
Very often we hear Christians singing “God will give and
take away”. When I was a baby in faith I got it all wrong. I thought God gives
a gift, but if I’m not good enough He might take it away – but that’s a
dangerous misconception that dishonors God! Never think that God would change
His mind – the Bible says He doesn’t! James 1:17 states that “every good and
perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not
change like shifting shadows”. More scriptural basis to prove the goodness of
God is found in e.g. Matt 7:7-11, Phil 4:19, and Rom 8:32, and many scriptures such as Heb 13:8 show
that Jesus (God) does not change!
What does it mean then when we sing “God gives and takes
away”? It means that God takes our sins, our mistakes and shortcomings, our
sicknesses and weaknesses, everything that was not a part of His plan for
mankind from the beginning. What He gives in return is eternal life, salvation,
healing, joy, prosperity, power, strength, knowledge, wisdom, blessings… His
heavenly storehouses are full of His blessings! When I started to grow in faith I was told that "God never gives too much". Excuse me? Where is that in the Bible? David writes "my cup overflows" (Ps 23:5), and that is during the Old Covenant - but the covenant we are living in is based on even better promises! (Heb 8:6) God is El Shaddai - the one who nourishes, supplies and satisfies! "Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing" (Ps 34:10). God does not give barely enough so that we might just be able to make it, but He gives so much that we are able to bless others (2 Cor 9:7-10). We are blessed to bless! Hallelujah!
God rescued me when I was ready to fall. He came and rescued
me from the desert. He has healed me and restored me, and He has put a new song
in my mouth. He has done great and mighty things, and I know that there is
nothing in this world I could ever live for if it wasn’t for Him. He is my
everything, and without Him I’m nothing. People sometimes think I take this
Jesus-thing too seriously, but I don’t agree. First of all Jesus took me pretty
seriously on the cross, so I have every reason to take Him seriously. Secondly
God is not interested in people who make Him a hobby and church a Sunday-thing.
He says it very clearly in His Word – He wants us no fire, not lukewarm (Rev
3:16). That is why I want to dedicate my life to serving Him.
Soon it’s time for
me to go back to my home country – and I’m not just going back, I’m SENT back.
I am sent back with a mission, and I know that God will help me fulfill all of
His plans, everything He has laid on my heart and spoken to me about. I am so
thankful that He has led me to so many wonderful people who are ready to stand
with me, fighting for the people of Finland. I know that I’m not standing
alone. “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed”
(Prov 15:22), and “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A
cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecc 4:12). Thank you Jesus. <3
Thank you Patrick��
SvaraRadera